the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
