She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
