My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
