made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
