69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
