only if we run a train.
done.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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