i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
did you just send me my own nude
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
