Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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