i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
