so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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