i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
