That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
