I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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