Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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