How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
