We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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