There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
