I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
