This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
