I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You are the jesus of drinking
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
