No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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