i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I want to fling myself into the sun
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
