She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
