Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize