That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
