I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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