I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
