I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
