just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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