This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
