Do you still have your period?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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