No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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