did you get engaged???
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
