Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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