Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
