why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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