Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
