It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
