Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize