Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
