she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
