I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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