is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize