I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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