I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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