There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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