sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
