I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
