return my video game
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
