At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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