she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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