Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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