i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
