I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize