I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
