There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
