we have pet lesbian snakes
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
