I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
is that a dick in a sweater?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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