I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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